How and Why I Write?
I write for fear I might forget. How I wish I could write my life out from start to finish. I’m so obsessed with the past and who I was that nothing I do can go unwritten. I fill hundreds of pages with ink to one day look back and remember what I think. Days, events, and people in my life fill up most of these lines. Then one day I'll revisit my story and think of how silly I was to fuel my delusions with such delight. So why is it that I write? Because I know nothing else. Nothing can cure me of madness quite like a pen. Nothing can spark some excitement like a story from my head. Nothing can provoke thought like the endless possibilities of a white page. And nothing can remember what one day I am to forget.
What stops me from writing is never my thoughts for those I have endless; they never stop. It’s something more evil more deadly too. It robs us of art, you’ll never start. Those who choose this must be mindful as it is a weapon, it will be spiteful. Perfection will drag you down into hell listen closely and the tale I will tell.
Reading my work, I was unimpressed, I felt I was worse than the rest. I thought if perfect was to be my song, then I could never do any wrong. A simple recipe for success means I must only write my best. For so long I delayed the words that I displayed for fear they wouldn’t be done well. I dreamt and thought of all it could be but didn’t think I had it in me. I sat and stared at the blinking cursor | | | |. It’s constant flicker felt poignant and so the page and I became avoidant. I spent more time keeping writing in my mind than simply jotting down imperfect words I could find. The pages remained blank to scared the wrong words might dwindle my rank. Then I realized I was misguided by all the opinions I had decided. How could perfect be my song if art was always meant to be wrong? Art is messy, it’s hard to do and the bad parts should be fun too. If I want my writing to be perfect it ends up being something I neglect. I take pride in knowing my drafts will be shit but at least imperfection I can permit.
I believe art is sane in a world where artists are given much of the blame. We can’t let people fall into the trap of thinking creativity is plainly crap. Art is so powerful with what it can say so we must protect it every day. We can’t let art be silenced, the world would only get more violent. Doodle, scribble, write, and draw show the world tell them what you saw. Keep on sharing the stories that change so one day the world will be rearranged.
